Monday, May 24, 2010

The NEW Red Wheelbarrow

What a fantastic hour and a quarter! I am sitting in Barns & Noble with the two Pats, both poets. I showed them a poem I wrote for my Creative Writing class to gather their opinion on the title. What followed was an extended, sometimes heated, discussion on the last stanza. It got to the point that we took the poem to the service counter and asked Pam if she understood the ending.

What Pat K. and I see as obvious, Pam couldn’t see until it was explained. Pat G. says that shows I haven't make it clear and still says I am changing POV. I insist I’m not changing POV. Pat K. sees it as an ending. I meant it as a realization, an acceptance. Is there a gender interpretation to it? Pat G. thinks so. Perhaps this is a "man's poem" and women just don't understand us.

Now, you need to understand that my instructor has referred to my writing as a “simple style.” I am too new to the genre to be anything but straight forward. There are no layers in my writing.

Have I accidentally written my own The Red Wheelbarrow?

Any where but Home.
By S. Arthur Yates

I might go to London,
Rome, or Tokyo,
Bangladesh, St. Peter’s Square,
Any where but Home.

The moon or Mars,
Beyond the Milky Way,
Quasars or Cosmic Dust
Any where but Home.

I touch your hand,
Your face, your breast,
Yet your heart will be,
Any where but Home.

1 comment:

  1. Despite the fact I'm Pat G.'s daughter...I don't have her poetry know-how or understand-it-how. But I will tell you what I think anyway, since you've asked and I'm putting off doing work I need to do.

    I took the last ending as ironic. I feel you are saying that both you and your lover equally feel your hearts are not with "Home." And I know you've capitalized home because of its relevance. If you had left the capitalization off the last stanza. it would have changed the idea within the poem. Here, it shows that Home is the same place for you and your lover. And for some reason we the reader can't understand, no one wants to be there.